Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Randomize
