like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
farters have to be the big spoon...
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
