And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize