i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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