She announced her abortion via fbk
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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