I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
