I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
