The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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