I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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