i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
