i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
