Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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