i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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