Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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