I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
