Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
it glows. i had to have it.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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