Nicole vs. Life
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
