If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
