I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i need an iv and a liver transplant
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
