it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Randomize
