I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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