i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
