i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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