I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
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