garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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