That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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