I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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