My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
