I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I will be naked everywhere
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
