why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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