If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize