It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
The adults are the big ones right?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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