..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Randomize
