i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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