when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
