Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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