What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
