I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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