I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize