Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
