TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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