awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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