Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
