So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
no you cant smoke seaweed
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
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