i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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