hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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