i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
wanna go halves on a baby?
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
