i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
