smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
We left the knife in your bed.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
