I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
