I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
