Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
