ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
