What a fucking waste of an outfit
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Randomize
