so explain again why im purple
no
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
