I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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